Never praise me in the face.
Never stab me in the back.
in these last 5 years.. even i though i did not ask u out outright..
i have worked hard to prepare myself for you.
i labored and made myself awesome
at my age.. i have managed to distinguish myself from the other 20 year old lemmings out there
i dont know what kept me back from asking u out while in college
maybe becoz u were the queen bee..
maybe becoz i have this weird idea that 'i shud be "prepared" for my girl'.
i was preparing
i didnt wan to go on living with out every really trying to do what i wanted to do
thus
i prepped
did a lot of things
hustled
bustled
travelled
topped rooms
topped college
got a red-carpet-arrival job
changed things
changed the world
purged myself of all cultural programming
changed...
and then thus
i asked you out in rainy july
i really dont know what was the trigger
except the fact that i felt that i was done preparing
now comes the 'ask'
and i was late
didnt even have an inkling of your situation
you seem to be a good secret keeper
since then
you are my own personal brand of heroin
my own personal brand of ecstasy
got high on you
tried to talk
tried to let u know m not the same
i have made myself awesome
tried to meet
on a special day
but u seem to be happy with your possessions
u dont seem to be the same one i knew
in our first talk u said u are confused about stuff
i thought
hmm.. here's a partner for the journey
but things didnt move on
u didnt see the change
maybe u are happy
maybe u want me to go on alone
and be awesome alone
if that is so
then say it to my face
i am not bright enough to pick up girly hints
after time
the drug subsided
i saw that u had changed
not the one i knew
in ur mars-venus book
there is this line
'a woman never forgets the men she could have had.. a man never forgets the woman he could not have'
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